So, unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past month, you must have either spotted (or at least heard about) the latest creepy phenomenon to sweep the nation: dressing up as a clown, lurking about on street corners and frightening the bejesus out of passers-by. This trend has taken both America and the UK by storm, with videos and headlines of clown-related incidents becoming a daily event. So popular is this trend, clowns could easily be considered the new hipster…
However, if you’re a sufferer of Coulrophobia (fear of clowns), there’s one phrase you don’t want to see trending on your Facebook page: killer clown craze.
The psychiatric reasoning behind the fear of clowns delves into childhood fears of lack of recognition within something that appears to be human, but also something other. Also, clownish behaviour can be considered ‘anti-social’ (especially in October 2016 it would seem), which is said to create waves of anxiety within children who are exposed to clowns. But the bottom line is, clowns are creepy no matter what your age. Coulrophobia is almost as common as regular-Joe phobias, such as acrophobia (fear of heights) and arachnophobia (fear of spiders). But with the clown thing, it could be suggested that popular culture has played a large role in this fear.
Quite where this ridiculous recent fad has come from, who knows. But these creepy (and often knife/baseball bat-wielding) idiots have been popping up like daisies on both sides of the pond. We’ve all seen the occasional and extremely satisfying videos of vigilante justice on a clown who picked on the wrong dude and winds up with his arse in a sling. Just in time for Halloween, we take a look into this terrifying (and frankly extremely unfunny) individual known as the clown, and the popular clowns of Western culture that have traumatised our childhoods…
PENNYWISE THE CLOWN
“You all taste so much better when you’re afraid”
The Don Corleone of clowns arguably has to be the creation from the master of horror better known as Stephen King. Again, unless you’ve been living under a rock, you will be familiar with either the book or the TV mini-series adaptation of It. The 1986 novel that reached right for the jugular of the fear of clowns and gave it a good twist. For those not familiar though, the story follows a group of 1950s kids in the small, fictional town of Derry, Maine, who find themselves on the wrong side of a murderous entity (the kids call it “It” because no one knows just quite what “It” is) that terrorises their small town and plans to pick off all the children who inhabit Derry in various and sadistic ways. One of the guises It takes is that of Pennywise the Clown (sometimes known as Bob – you can’t make this stuff up), who was played in the TV adap beautifully by the sublime Tim Curry. Pennywise is a blood-lusting, yellow-toothed, limb-ripping maniac. Clowns are supposed to be funny. Unfortunately, for the kids of Derry (and every hapless King fan), Pennywise is not. Those familiar will remember the infamous “they all float down here, Georgie” scene, and may have spent considerable time afterwards taking pains not to look directly at street drains on rainy days. Seeing rogue balloons floating about may also provide some Vietnam-style flashbacks too. Coulrophobe or not; Pennywise was a creepy mofo. His one redeeming quality, however, is that he is fictional. Which brings us to our next candidate…
POGO THE CLOWN
“I should have never been convicted of anything more serious than running a cemetery without a licence…”
… Who, unfortunately was far from the product of the inner workings of a horror mastermind. Known to some as the harmless Pogo the Clown: children’s party entertainer, but known to many others as John Wayne Gacy: one of America’s most prolific and successful (in terms of body count) serial killers.
Known as the Killer Clown, Gacy raped and murdered up to thirty-three boys throughout the 1970s, turned his Illinois home into a makeshift tomb before being caught, convicted and executed in 1994, after a fourteen year stint on death row.
Hailing from an abusive home, Gacy was beaten and tormented by his father, often without any provocation, and also experienced bullying at school as a result of being overweight and unathletic. One of his first jobs was in a morgue, which he later confessed to frequenting after dark and climbing into the coffins of deceased teenager boys and ‘embracing and caressing’ the bodies. Not weird at all then.
Gacy then became an active member of the local Democratic Party, in which he dressed as a clown to occupy the children whilst at fundraiser events. He self-applied his own makeup, deliberately making the lips into a large smile, so as ‘not to scare the children’. I think it’s safe to say he probably failed in that department.
There seems to be a bit of a theme running here: clowns and children don’t mix. So in keeping with this theme….
THE GIT FROM POLTERGEIST
This probably isn’t his real name. I don’t know what his real name is. I don’t much care. He isn’t even a living, breathing entity, but a sinister and murderous one nonetheless. He’s only about two feet tall, so one would think all one would need to do is give him a good swift kick if he tried to pull any shenaniganery and that would be that, right? Wrong.
Before it all goes Pete Tong in Poltergeist, the shot of the smiling wooden clown sat on the chair in the little boy’s room supposedly minding his own business just spelled out trouble from day one. United was the feeling among movie-goers that this clown wasn’t just going to sit back and be a spectator during all the ghostly goings-ons soon to come. No. He wanted to be the star of the show! The camera is on me, baby. I somehow wound up watching the original Poltergeist when I was very young and from then on (and maybe still to this day…) was not a fan of beds with gaps underneath them. Who knows what could be lurking beneath? Even as a rational, bill-paying adult – not a fan. Those types of beds just have a sinister nostalgia attached to them, and this deranged toy clown has a lot to answer for that. And who knows, in October 2016 – there might just be a real one under there…
RONALD MCDONALD
“Fries with that?”
Ahhhh, the posterchild for obesity. Certainly not as sinister as his contemporaries, but deserves an honourable mention anyway. Clowns are creepy. Ronald McDonald is a clown. End of story.
THE JOKER, BATMAN
“Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?”
Before Chris Nolan sunk his teeth into the Batman franchise, back in the eighties our good friend Tim Burton had a pretty good pop at it too. The brainchild villain of this gothic (if not slightly camp) attempt was of course Jack Nicholson. Jack Nicholson wreaking havoc through Gotham to a soundtrack made up entirely of Prince. Hard not to be a little tickled by that.
In the 1989 film, Jack Nicholson gave us Jack Napier: a local gangster who wound up getting pushed into a huge vat of chemicals, not killing him but leaving him with a deranged grin burned into his face. He sets about bringing down his nemesis (Batman, obvs) whilst trying to win the affections of Gotham journalist, Vicky Vale (who is, conveniently, Batman’s bae) as well as trying to massacre the entire populace of the city. Busy guy. Prone to dancing, wise cracking and bursts of gleeful cackling, Nicholson’s version of the Joker is more like someone’s slightly sociopathic uncle who has somehow managed to ingest vast quantities of methamphetamines and decides to go on the rampage one night. A different and much less cold and calculating version of this next guy…
THE JOKER, DARK KNIGHT
Slaughter is the best medicine….
The delectable and gone-too-soon Heath Ledger put an unforgettable spin on the famous Bob Kane clown with this unnamed version of the Joker. This version – possibly the darkest and cruellest of them yet – seemed to appear in Gotham with limited origin and background. Just some scarred maniac who shows up one day to rip the town a new one and sadistically kill any fool who stands in his way. Prone to telling porkie-pies (it’s never clear how he winds up with his scars – he tells everyone a different version), the general vibe is that somewhere along the way, something went horribly wrong in his life and he decided to make everyone in Gotham foot the bill for it. The first scene starts with him, almost ironically, wearing a clown mask to disguise himself during a bank robbery. A clown within a clown, if you will. If the rumour that this clown craze will climax on Halloween night with ‘killer clowns’ running rampant everywhere has any truth to it, this is one clown you don’t wanna meet. The Lad Bible post a lot of videos along the lines of ‘clown tries to scare this person and it backfires’. Yeah, that won’t be you if you try some vigilante justice on this fella.
HONOURABLE MENTIONS:
Bozo the Clown – fictitious character created in the 1940s in America. Recently immortalised by Robert De Niro as his idea of what Donald Trump is.
Krusty the Clown – Loveable regular on The Simpsons. Real name: Herschel Shmoikel Pinchas Yerucham Krustofsky. Not even joking.
Insane Clown Posse – Someone said the words “clowns that rap” to some music producer one day and he was absolutely all over that. The rest, as they say, was history.
Killjoy – Demonic clown from the film of the same name. Nasty bit of work. Lives up to his name.
©Clarice Taylor
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